


Nothing Really Gay About It

by AceMoppet



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: ...Bro, Genderfluid Katsuki Yuuri, Other, Petty Ice Fiances, Slight Crack fic, The World was not ready hoLY SHIT!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 18:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10859604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceMoppet/pseuds/AceMoppet
Summary: In the beginning, it was horrifying. Then, it was amusing. Now, it's just annoying. So what's a pair of world-class skaters to do when the media doubts their love?Skate it out with a heart-felt, gut-wrenching routine, of course!Aka Bromance.





	Nothing Really Gay About It

**Author's Note:**

> This fic idea has consumed me ever since I saw that one Youtube video by Mystic-Memes (seriously, go watch their stuff, it's hilarious!). 
> 
> Please leave a comment or kudos! Also, please tell me about any mistakes you might see while reading; I'll try to fix them as soon as possible!
> 
> Thank you! Enjoy!
> 
> P.S. Croptop! Yuuri is the best, but I also raise you Croptop! Victor.

The madness started, as it usually did, with Phichit.

 

Yuuri had just been washing her plate after finishing up dinner alone. Victor was out of town for a sponsorship event in Moscow, and she’d just been reconciled with the idea of curling up on the couch with Makkachin and a good book when her phone rang. She dried her hands hastily before picking up the phone, not even looking at the caller.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Yuuri! You picked up!” 

 

“Ah, sawasdee ka Phichit-kun! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

 

“It’s been too long, Yuuri!” Yuuri smiled at the pout in the younger man’s voice.

 

“How are you, then?”

 

And so Yuuri snuggled into the couch with Makkachin as Phichit started telling her about his week, starting with a sponsorship dinner from last Saturday and ending with a prank that involved two pounds of glitter, a bucket of fruit juice, and a ladder, making Yuuri laugh so hard that she nearly fell off the sofa. 

 

When she was done laughing, she sighed. “Thanks Phichit-kun; I really needed that.”

 

Phichit made a noise of sympathy. “Victor's out?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“Poor you.”

 

Yuuri laughed. “At least I have Makkachin.”

 

“Poor Victor then.”

 

Yuuri laughed again. 

 

“Well besides Victor being out, are you doing okay? Even with the articles from last week?”

 

Yuuri sighed at the mention of those articles. Last week, a couple of articles had popped up on the internet claiming that Victor and Yuuri were  _ clearly  _ straight and  _ definitely _ not engaged. As usual, the internet had gone wild; everyone threw in their two cents while all order was thrown out the window. She and Victor used to be horrified at the comments, and then they were disbelieving that people could be so delusional. Nowadays they were both amused and exasperated at the occasional article and the comments that followed. Victor had turned to Yuuri one day and had said in a dry tone, “Well,  _ lyubov moya _ , looks like we’re straight.”

 

Yuuri had nodded. “Obviously,” they’d said equally as dryly before bursting into laughter along with their fiance.

 

So yeah, these types of articles were nothing new, but still. It didn’t mean that she’d gotten used to them.

 

“Mm, I’m okay. A bit tired and frustrated, but,” she shrugged helplessly, though Phichit couldn’t see it, “what can you do?”

 

Phichit made a noise of solidarity before falling silent. Yuuri didn’t mind; she’d been friends with Phichit long enough to know that he was leaning back and playing with his hair like he always did when he was lost in thought.

 

“Idea!” Phichit exclaimed suddenly, “What if you and Victor do an ice dance again?”

 

Yuuri blinked. “Phichit, we already do that for our exhibitions-”

 

“No I mean, what if you do it to troll them?”

 

Yuuri narrowed her eyes in interest. “Go on.”

 

“Okay, hear me out before you diss me.” There was a rustling noise coming from the other end of the phone, probably Phichit getting comfortable. “What if you guys did an ice dance to that one song we lip-synced together in college?”

 

Yuuri shifted the phone to her other hand. “Which one?”

 

“The one that we did right after the rumors about us dating peaked.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean that one?” 

 

“I do mean that one,” Phichit answered solemnly, “Yuuri, you and Victor should ice dance to  _ Bromance _ .”

 

\---

 

When Victor came back three days later, Yuuri was waiting for him with a sketch for the choreography in mind.

 

“Phichit-kun gave me the idea,” Yuuri said as he played with his blue bracelet.

 

Victor had been silent so far, his blue eyes darting over the paper Yuuri had handed him. Yuuri’s heart raced slightly, and his thoughts turned slightly panicky.  _ Oh God this was was such a bad idea oh my God what have I done- _

 

“It’s a good idea, Yuuri,” Victor’s voice cut through his racing mind, and Yuuri shook his head slightly in order to get the vestiges of his panic out of his head.

 

“Phichit-kun gave me the idea,” he repeated, not knowing what else to say.

 

Victor’s lips quirked. “My compliments to Phichit, then.”

 

“S-so, would you want to do this with me?”

 

Victor’s eyes were soft as he stared at Yuuri. “I would love to, lyubov moya. Though I think that the choreography should be a bit more.... Ah, what’s that word, you know, where people act really, really in love?”

 

“Lovey-dovey?”

 

“Yes!” Victor nodded emphatically, his eyes sparkling in excitement. “We need to be more lovey-dovey in this program than we’ve ever been, so that we can really confuse the audience! Think about it!”

 

Yuuri chewed his lip thoughtfully, before smirking. “Well then…”

 

\---

 

“Oi! Katsudon! What the fuck are you and the old geezer doing?!”

 

“Language, Yura!”

 

“Shut up, hag!”

 

Yuuri untangled their hands from Victor’s before turning to the perpetually angry teen. “Ah, Yurio! Hello!” they said cheerfully while wiping the sweat from their forehead.

 

“Tch, don’t call me that! And I asked you a question!”

 

“Why Yurio, we’re choreographing a new exhibition piece!” Victor piped up.

 

“I SAID DON’T CALL ME THAT! AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ACTING SO LOVESICK?!”

 

“Yura’s right,” Mila said after she took a gulp from her sports drink. “Not that I don’t like it, but you two usually aren’t like this for your programs. What’s up?”

 

And so they told them. By the time they finished, Mila was laughing so hard she’d wiped out on the ice. Even Yuri was impressed at the deviousness.

 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he said, “But go all out! Let the world know just how lovesick you two really are!”

 

“Aw Yurio!” Victor cried, “We knew you loved us! Come to Papa!”

 

“YOU’RE NOT MY DAD NIKIFOROV- wait, why are you - AGH GET OFF ME, YOU OLD GEEZER!”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  _ This was going to be fun! _

 

\---

 

“Vitya, my absolutely heterosexual platonic soulmate, shouldn’t you be getting ready to go out with that Russian ice dancer tonight?” Yuuri asked as she kissed Victor’s neck.

 

“Yuu-ah! if you truly w-were my absolutely heterosexual platonic soulmate, you would’ve-mm yes- known, that I’d-ngh bro-broken up with her last weEK!  _ Blyad! _ ” Victor glared at his fiancee, who was currently looking up at him with a seductive smirk on her face. “Stop teasing me!” he whined, tugging at Yuuri’s hair.

 

Yuuri moaned lowly, before leaning down to attack Victor’s chest. “Hmm,” she hummed, “Teasing you? How so?”

 

_ He’s  _ **_so_ ** _ easy to rile up,  _ she thought as Victor whimpered and gasped beneath her,  _ It’s cute _ .

 

“Yuuri!” Victor gasped she bit his collarbone, before shifting his weight onto his forearms to glare down at her. “You know exactly how,  _ bro _ .”

 

Yuuri snorted. “Oh my god, Vitya, please not that!”

 

Victor smirked. He leaned in and whispered into Yuuri’s ear, “Why not…  _ bro _ ?”

 

Yuuri was wheezing with laughter now. “V-Vitya!”

 

Victor’s hands went down to cup Yuuri’s bulge. It was Yuuri’s turn to gasp now. “Shall I make you feel good-”

 

“Ohm, God yes, Vitya please-”

 

“- _ bro _ ?”

 

“VITYA!”

 

\---

 

“Vitya, Yuratchka told me that you and Yuura are creating an exhibition to throw off the people who hate you, is that true?”

 

“Yes, Yakov!” Victor exclaimed brightly. “Why, do you not think it appropriate?”

 

The smile on Victor’s face warned Yakov to be careful about what he said next. He huffed, before grumbling, “It doesn’t matter if I think it’s appropriate or not. Will you two be able to deal with the media afterwards?”

 

Victor’s smile softened, the edges no longer sharp. “Yes. We talked about it together, and we’ll be ready. Besides, it’s definitely not something that the world will be expecting, don’t you think?”

 

Yakov smirked at his student’s excitement. “No,” he said softly, “They definitely will not.”

 

\---

 

“Phichit-kun, help me,” Yuuri groaned as soon as the call connected.

 

“Yuuri! What’s wrong? Who do I have to kill?” Yuuri’s lips twitched as they thought of how Phichit must look right now, fingers twitching with the bloodlust to ruin someone’s reputation.

 

“Victor keeps calling me bro, Phichit-kun!”

 

For a minute, there was no sound coming from the other end, before suddenly Phichit burst into laughter. Yuuri shoved the phone away from, annoyed at the cackles erupting from the speaker.

 

“Phichit-kun!” Yuuri whined.

 

“Pfffff, he c-calls you br-brohmygod I CAN’T!”

 

Yuuri huffed.  _ I really should’ve expected this… this is right up the alley of what Phichit-kun thinks is funny. _

 

“Yuuri?” Yuuri stiffened. “Is everything alright?”

 

“W-wait, is that Victor? Oh my god, Victor, my guy-”

 

“Well, nice talking to you, Phichit-kun, goodnight!” Yuuri cut off Phichit’s indignant squawk by hanging up. They threw the phone all the way to the other side of the room before grabbing the sheets pulling them over their head.

 

“Um, Yuuri…?”

 

“Goodnight, Vitya,” they said through the sheets.

 

They heard a soft sigh before the bed dipped and a warm hand landed on their back. “Yuuri,” Victor pleaded, “Talk to me?”

 

Yuuri sighed before pulling the covers off and turned to meet Victor’s eyes. “It’s really nothing…”

 

Victor ran a hand through Yuuri’s hair. “I won’t judge.”

 

Yuuri smiled softly. “Mm.”

 

“So?”

 

Yuuri sighed again. “Vitya, could you… maybe, stop calling me bro?”

 

Victor blinked. “Oh.”

 

Yuuri bit their lip. “I-I mean, i-it’s just-”

 

“Yuuri,” Victor says as he ruffles Yuuri’s hair, “I’ll stop. It was meant to be a joke at first.” Victor winced. “Though I maybe took it too far.”

 

Yuuri smiled. “Mhm, you did.”

 

Victor winced again. “Sorry.”

 

Yuuri sighed again, though it was happier this time. “Come here, Vitya.” 

 

Victor swung his legs over to tangle with Yuuri’s and scooted down the bed until they were face to face. Yuuri brought up a hand and brushed away Victor’s hair, smile widening when they could see both of Victor’s eyes.

 

“Hello Vitya” they said softly.

 

Victor took Yuuri’s hand and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it.

 

“Hello  _ lyubov moya _ .”

 

\---

 

“Katsuki-kun!”

 

Yuuri turned to see a well-known reporter heading their way. “Oh, Akiyama-san! It’s nice to see you!”

 

“Likewise to you, Katsuki-kun! Oh, Nikiforov-san, hello!”

 

“Hi!”

 

“Did you need something, Akiyama-san?”

 

“Ah, I was just wondering, Katsuki-kun, what you and Nikiforov-san plan to do for your exhibition skate?”

 

“Akiyama-san,” Victor spoke up now, “we’d love to tell you, but where would the surprise in that be?”

 

“Not even a little hint?”

 

Victor pretended to think, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “We-ll, I suppose one won’t hurt… expect our love to shine through in this skate. It’s really heart-wrenching and evocative, and the music is especially beautiful!”

 

Akiyama tilted her head in confusion. “Ah but, isn't that reminiscent of your past exhibitions?”

 

“Well yes, but this one definitely has more emotion behind it. Consider it a response to all the people who are still… confused about our love,” Victor finished with a savage smile.

 

Yuuri bit back a laugh. “Vitya-”

 

“Well thank you Nikiforov-san for the insight! I hope you and Katsuki-kun have a wonderful time performing your exhibition skate!”

 

“Thank you, Akiyama-san! It's always a pleasure talking with you!”

 

As Akiyama walked off, Yuuri let loose the giggles that had been building up. “O-Oh, my god, Vitya!”

 

“Yes,  _ lyubov moya _ ?” Victor batted his eyes at his giggling fiance, making Yuuri laugh even harder. Victor couldn’t resist the soft smile; his Yuuri was so cute when he laughed!

 

“Vitya, Yuura, where have you be- is he okay?!” 

 

Victor turned around to see an alarmed Georgi. “Ah, Gosha! We were just heading your way, but we got held up by a reporter. Is Yakov mad at us?”

 

Georgi recovered his composure; if Victor wasn’t worried about his fiance cackling like a maniac, he shouldn’t be either. “No, but he’s definitely on the edge.”

 

“Well, then we’ll just have to hurry. Come on,  _ lyubov moya _ , Yakov and the rest of our friends are waiting for us; you don’t want our small son to yell at us again, do you?”

 

Yuuri kept laughing.

 

_ Well,  _ Georgi thought helplessly,  _ The sanest one of us has lost his head. What hope is there for the rest of us? _

 

\---

 

“Are you ready,  _ lyubov moya _ ?” Victor said as Yuuri tied their skates tightly.

 

Yuuri glanced up at their smiling fiance. He was wearing his Team Russia jacket just like Yuuri was wearing his Japan jacket, the long sleeves hiding their rather bold costumes from the rest of the world. They bit the inside of their cheek to keep from laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, the mirth mirrored in Victor’s eyes. 

 

They stood up and started to fiddle with Victor’s zipper. They leaned in and whispered, “We’re going to have to take these off soon.”

 

Victor hummed in agreement. “I know. So, are you ready,  _ lyubov moya _ ?”

 

Yuuri took a good look at the man in front of him, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. This man - this goofy, dorky,  _ wonderfully brilliant _ man - was theirs. He’d been the focus of their life ever since he’d skated his way into it, carving a place for himself at the center using only the thin blades he danced upon. This man held their fragile glass heart in his hands, and Yuuri didn’t care. They didn’t care that they’d become so entwined with someone else, so a part of someone else. Because the truth was, they knew that Victor thought the same too.

 

Victor - goofy, dorky,  _ wonderfully brilliant _ Victor - was theirs, just like Yuuri was his. And it was time to show the world that, once and for all.

 

So they smiled and kissed Victor. Then they pulled back and said,

 

“I’m ready, Vitya.”

 

\---

 

**_“And by the rinkside we have Katsuki Yuuri-kun and Victor Nikiforov-san. As the world knows, ever since the 2016 Grand Prix Final, Katsuki-kun and Nikiforov-san and have been doing their exhibition skates together, and it looks like tonight won’t be any different. They’re taking off their jackets now and handing them to Yakov Fe- oh my! I-It seems like they’re wearing crop tops?!”_ **

 

**_“That they are, Morooka-san! There also seems to be something written on them, though I can’t tell what…”_ **

 

**_“Well, we might be able to figure out now as they skate around the ri- oh my! This is rather confusing. Their crop tops seem to say-”_ **

 

**_“Bros 4 Life? Whatever could that mean Morooka-san?”_ **

 

**_“I don’t know Asahi-san, but it looks like both Nikiforov-san and Katsuki-kun are amused at the crowd’s reaction.”_ **

 

**_“They’re skating to the center of the rink now, waiting for their song to begin.”_ **

 

**_“Somehow, I can tell it’s going to be a wild one…”_ **

 

\---

 

Yuuri smirked as they stood back-to-back with Victor, arms crossed almost smugly. It was hard to keep from shivering at the cold, especially now that they were in their crop top, but they managed somehow.

 

_ Broooooomance... _

 

Yuuri threw their arm up dramatically and slowly let it fall into Victor’s outstretched hand.

 

_ Bro-oh-oh-mance… _

 

Victor tugged them around sharply so that now they were face-to-face. Victor smiled sappily and brought up a hand to brush across Yuuri’s cheek.

 

_ It’s like Eminem and Dr. Dre _

 

_ If I loved you more, I might be gay _

 

A kiss on the forehead as one of them skated away, tangled hands tightening before letting go.

 

_ You my homie _

 

Single Flip by Yuuri…

 

_ Yeah you know me _

 

Followed by a Double Flip from Victor…

 

_ And if you ever need a wingman, I’d let any girl blow me off _

 

Back in each other’s arms again, pushing away slowly into a set of dizzying twizzles

 

_ You know it’s true, you my male boo _

 

Yuuri couldn’t help but mouth the last few lyrics at Victor.  _ “Now sing the chorus with me if you’re feeling the same way too.” _

 

_ Brooooomance, nothing really gay about it. _

 

Victor smiled as he lifted Yuuri gently into the air, Yuuri’s hand grazing the side of his neck on the way down.

 

_ Nooooot that there’s anything wrong with being gay! _

 

‘Damn straight!” Victor thought, nearly snorting with laughter at his own joke.

 

_ Bro-oh-oh-oh-ohmance, shouldn’t be ashamed or hide it, _

 

‘There’s nothing for us to hide,’ Yuuri thought as they leaned in to peck Victor on the lips. ‘We’re each other’s, through and through.’

 

_ I looooove you, in the most heterosexual way… _

 

\---

 

Later, when Victor and Yuuri lay in their hotel bed after a round of rather vigorous activities, Victor rolled over to get his phone. Yuuri shot him a quizzical look but ultimately cuddled up against their fiance’s sweaty, bare chest as he took a selfie while dipping down to kiss the top of Yuuri’s head.

 

“Can I upload this,  _ lyubov moya _ ?” he whispered into Yuuri’s damp hair.

 

Yuuri smiled and snuggled closer. “As long as you show me the caption beforehand.”

 

So he did. Yuuri laughed.

 

\---

 

The picture that nearly broke Instagram was of the two of them, naked, flushed, and practically on top of each other, sweetened by Victor’s soft kiss on the head. 

 

The caption read:  _ I love you bro. _

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
